summer barley salad

We just spent a crazy week in LA and although I've never really been fond of Southern California with all the traffic and horrendous heat in the summer months, I kind of fell in love with it. We stayed in Silver Lake for most of our trip, a hip neighborhood with a lot of great food. We made frequent trips to bakeries and got take out from the incredible Silver Lake Ramen. We never made coffee at home because there were so many great options close by. It was glorious. I'm now a believer. 

Wednesday morning we visited a place in the neighborhood called Sqirl. They serve grain bowls and sandwiches, along with pastries and tasty coffee. I ordered the sorrel pesto rice bowl with an egg and homemade sausage. It was the breakfast of my dreams. It was tart with preserved lemon and salty from a mound of sheep's milk feta, everything is then coated in luxurious egg yolk after you break into the poached egg.  I went back to get it again a couple days later and brought three more home for the rest of our crowd. I wish I lived next door and could eat it every day because I surely would. They are working on a cookbook and I'm praying that's in it, and if it is, ya'll are coming over for brunch. 

This barley salad is in no way related to the sorrel pesto bowl except that it's a hearty grain salad and it would benefit greatly from a runny egg placed on top. It's bright and its filling and I guess for now, it can stand in as a measly substitute for the real thing. 

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summer barley salad // serves 6 as a side

Ingredients:

• 1 cup barley
• 3 cups water
• 1 medium zucchini, diced
• 1/4 red onion, diced small
• 2 cups lactinato kale, chopped fine
• 1/2 cup chopped flat leaf parsley
• 1/4 cup crumbled sheep's milk feta
• juice of half of a medium lemon
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/2 tablespoon grainy mustard
• 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt
• freshly ground pepper

Preparation: 

1. In a medium sauce pan, bring the water and the barley to a boil. Cover and reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook until all the water is evaporated and the barley is cooked through, about 50-60 minutes. Remove from heat, keeping it covered and let cool 15 minutes. 
2. Using a 1 cup measuring cup, mix together the lemon juice, oil, mustard, salt and pepper. 
3. In a large bowl, combine the cooked barley, zucchini, red onion, kale, parsley and feta. Pour over the vinaigrette and mix to combine. 
4. If you've got an egg around, fry it up, keeping the yolk soft and throw it on top. 

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whole wheat chocolate chip cookies

I own a ridiculous amount of cookbooks. If somehow the internet ceased to exist, I would have enough recipes on hand to cook three meals a day for the rest of my life. Many of these cookbooks are used for reading and inspiration rather than recipe following. There are a lot of people out there who know a lot about this cooking stuff, and I want to know what they know. 

There are books that I do use for their recipes and these are mostly baking books. Cooking can be a bit fluid. A little of this, a little of that and it's more than likely going to turn out just fine, but baking is a little more finicky. You've got to pay attention to the way the ingredients work together, making sure they interact properly, giving you the desired result. I have three or four books that I turn to often, with one in particular that has kind of grabbed a hold of me. Because of this book, 75% of my freezer is packed with alternative flours like amaranth and dark rye. I have corn flour and barley flour and two bags of oat flour. While it may sound like I'm stocking up for a gluten-free baking extravaganza, I'm actually just really into Kim Boyce's book, Good to the Grain. I had made the oatmeal sandwich bread from her book many times, and I absolutely love it (that reminds me, I need to start a batch this afternoon), though I never really made anything else out of the book, mostly because I didn't have the alternative flours she uses on hand. It wasn't until I visited her bakery, Bakeshop in Portland, that I started to hoard whole grain flours and couldn't wait to bake every single thing in that book. 

These whole wheat chocolate chip cookies are actually made with 100% whole wheat flour, not for the health benefits, but because the whole wheat flour adds a nuttiness and a chew that you don't get from all purpose flour. They're also huge, which I kind of like. When you want a cookie, eat a cookie. Because they're hefty, I think they would hold up pretty well with other mix-ins like walnuts (if you're that type of person). 

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whole wheat chocolate chip cookies // makes 20 cookies

(very slightly) adapted from Good to the Grain 

Ingredients: 

Dry mix

• 3 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

Wet mix

• 8 ounces (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
• 1 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 8 ounces bittersweet chocolate, roughly chopped (I used bittersweet chocolate chips with excellent results)

Preparation: 

1. Place two racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and pre-heat to 350 F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. 
2. Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Set aside. 
3. Add the butter and sugars to the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. With the mixer on low speed, mix just until the butter and sugars are blended, about 2 minutes. Use a spatula to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing until each is combined. Mix in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture to the bowl and blend on low speed until the flour is barely combined, about 30 seconds. Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl. 
4. Add the chocolate all at once to the batter. Mix on low speed until the chocolate is evenly combined. Use a spatula to scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl. 
5. Scoop mounds of dough, about 3 tablespoons in size onto the baking sheet, leaving 3 inches between them, or about 6 to a sheet. 
6. Bake the cookies for 16-20 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through, until the cookies are evenly dark brown. Transfer the cookies, still on the parchment, to the counter to cool, and repeat with the remaining dough. These cookies are best warm, but will keep in an airtight container for up to 3 days. You can also wrap the cookies in plastic wrap and then place in a zip top bag for up to 2 weeks. 

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chopped kale salad with lemon tahini dressing

Sometimes what we think we want isn't what we want at all. If you know me, you know that it's a rare occasion when I'm content with anything, really. The thing I've learned about always chasing something though, is that once you get it, you rarely get a do over. You go for it, you get it and then, well, you have it. I somehow got lucky and got a do over. I thought that going back to work full time was something I probably wanted. I worked hard to convince myself that it would be good for everyone. I ignored the small nagging feelings that maybe it was too soon or that I really did love being home with Ollie. I pushed them aside to make room for the feelings of excitement over something new and the glimmer of more money. It helped that I was returning to a job I knew I loved with people that I had missed dearly and while I did, in fact, love my job, it turned out, I loved my old one more. I desperately missed the adventure of chasing a toddler, the flexibility of a loose schedule and the order I was able to bring to our home during the day.

I lasted five months as a full time working mom. It was a difficult time of intricate balance, which I never really got right. I barely cooked and spent a ton of money on having someone else cook for us. I gained 10 pounds while I tried to desperately hang on to the merry-go-round that was our life. I stopped working out and the couple of hours a day I saw my son were spent trying to build train tracks while simultaneously folding laundry. It was a bit of disaster and I wasn't doing any of it well. 

Fast forward three months and while I still have those 10 pounds to lose, balance has been restored to our lives. The thing I thought I wanted was not the thing I wanted at all. However, had I never gone back to work, I don't think I would have been able to fully appreciate what a privilege it is to be at home. When my toddler refuses to wear clothes and takes (what feels like) three hours to get out the door, privilege can seem a little far off, but I know that's what this is. I know it because I've seen the alternative and I'm so grateful for that perspective. So I'll take the naked tantrums, the incessant "no's!" and the very selective hearing any day. 

Being able to cook again has been one of the great benefits of being home. There was a lot of take out there for awhile, which for someone who likes to cook, felt pretty depressing. The kitchen is therapy to me, it's creative and it's the perfect way for me to take some time for myself. When my husband comes home from a long work day and scoops up our little boy to go play train conductor under our duvet, I slip into the kitchen, put on my favorite Spotify playlist and immerse myself into the work. In there, I'm really me. I can be covered in flour with no makeup on and the pastry doesn't care. My nails can be in desperate need of attention and the kale doesn't make a peep. I'm in my happy place, made even more joyful by the giggles and the sound of a train whistle coming from the next room. 

This salad is a dish I have been making a lot this summer. It takes on different personalities depending on what is in my fridge, but there are a few elements that are always there. Chopped lactinato (aka dino) kale is consistently the base of this dish because I tend to like the texture of it more than the curly variety while avocado adds a creamy contrast to the fibrous greens and a handful of cooked grains I batched in the beginning of the week add a punch of substance. You can riff on the rest based on what's in your fridge. Something crunchy like fennel or cucumber is great and beans bulk up the protein content and will certainly hold you over until your next meal. 

Chopped kale salad with lemon tahini dressing // serves 4 as a side or 2 as a main

Ingredients: 

For salad

• 1 large head lactinato kale, rinsed + dried with ribs removed, chop finely
• 1/2 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced fennel
• 1/2 cup cooked grains (such as quinoa, barley, farro or bulgur)
• 1 avocado, diced
• 1/4 cup finely diced red onion
• 2 oz sheep's milk feta, cubed

For dressing

• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1 tablespoon tahini (sesame paste)
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• juice of 1 lemon

Preparation: 

Combine all of the salad ingredients in a large bowl and toss well. Pour over 4 tablespoons of the dressing and continue to toss until the dressing has generously coated the greens, adding more if necessary. Reserve the rest of the dressing for another use. 

banana almond bread

I'm on vacation from work this week. The freedom feels so familiar and comforting. I've been a full time working mom for a little over two months now and it seems to be getting harder rather than easier. I anticipated this phenomenon, knowing that there would be a recognizable honeymoon phase. The first couple of months happened to be our busy season so there was little time to think, which was a huge blessing. I spent a lot of time catching up with all the co-workers I had missed so much and the rest of the time getting re-acclimated to the working world. My son was sick for the first three weeks I was back thanks to all of those super fun kid germs at daycare. He had the flu first, which both Jon and I caught and then he suffered from a cold for a couple of weeks which he passed along to me, but spared Jon the excitement. They say that sharing is caring. It was a rough first month. 

I love my job. Taking care of people is something that is woven into the fabric of my being. This is probably why I love to feed people so much. Giving keeps me going and makes me feel like myself.

Working outside of the house has some distinct advantages. No one follows me to the bathroom when I have to go. I can get through an entire conversation with another adult without a toddler trying to pull my pants down or yelling for me to push him around in a tiny wooden tray. My lunch hour has an incredible amount of possibilities and I can come and go as I please within that hour. Money is nice. Not depleting our savings is pretty great as is the ability to buy things we want, but in this moment, those all feel a little dim in the light of that almost two year old with whom I'm so smitten. 

We went to the zoo yesterday and shared a blueberry muffin and a croissant at a favorite cafe in San Francisco. When we had our fill of giraffes and gorillas, we went to visit a friend in our old neighborhood. Oliver played with toys and balloons and I caught up with a dear friend. It was a perfect day. I cried at the end of it when I hugged him in the kitchen as he laughed hysterically at my fake sneezes. I miss him. There's no way around it. I know a lot of women do this and they get through it, even enjoy it. I'm hoping that I'll get there soon. 

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Everyone needs a great banana bread recipe in their repertoire. This one is a little unconventional but pays off in the end. You can store the loaf in an airtight container at room temperature for a couple days but I like to put mine in the fridge because I'm a weirdo and I like cold cake. You'll lose the crispy crunch on top of the cake when you store it, so try to eat as much as you can on the day it's baked. 

banana almond bread

makes one loaf

adapted from this recipe

Ingredients: 

• 1 3/4 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
• 1 cup packed brown sugar, divided
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup greek yogurt
• 3 ripe bananas, divided
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1/3 cup sliced almonds
• turbinado sugar (also known as raw or coarse sugar)

Preparation: 

1. Grease a 9x5x4 loaf pan with butter or non-stick spray and pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees with a rack in the middle. 
2. Combine the flour, baking soda, salt and spices in a large bowl. 
3. In a medium bowl, using a hand held mixer, beat the eggs and 3/4 cup of the brown sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add 1 banana, the yogurt and a 1/4 cup of brown sugar and beat until well combined, with just a few lumps remaining. Add the oil and blend to combine. 
4. Coarsely mash the remaining two bananas with a fork and fold into the wet ingredients. 
5. Dump the wet ingredients into the dry ones and toss in the almonds. Mix with a wooden spoon until just combined, being careful not to over mix the batter. 
6. Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and sprinkle the top with sugar. Bake in the center of the oven until a toothpick stuck in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs, about 45 minutes to 1 hour. 

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